One can't help but be profoundly touched in watching the process of the core spirit leave the body. I was with my sister at Hospice this past month as her beloved was experiencing the last stages of cancer and making his transition from this earthly realm to that of the next. My sister and I were also together in this same dance when her first husband made his journey from the result of cancer many years ago. It leaves us with many questions and seeking answers. There are many feelings to work through for resolve and placement and I pray I will find understanding of my purpose in sharing these times of life and passing.
There are stages that a person goes through in slowly releasing his spirit from his body, but anyone sharing this time also runs through a whole series of emotions. I can only imagine what my sister was feeling and experiencing in losing these men who shared her life and love. Her words were tender and soothing; her actions those of extreme caring and her pain deep and immense. But as she watched him move into acceptance and peace, she too made this journey along with him. They laughed and cried and prayed together, sharing their love in every way possible until the very last breath and heartbeat.
From my perspective as a 'support' person to both my sister and others who were present, as well as one who loved both of these men, I was aware of how truly heartbreaking and sad this process was while at the same time, so truly beautiful...love demonstrated over and over again...family members sharing stories and laughing together...friends coming to say good-bye...last minute wishes being stated...tears and hugs shared...comfort given and received...and grief hitting hard and fast.
It is my deepest belief that our physical life is just an interruption from that of our true life on a much higher realm and it's that 'place' that is our true home. But the relationships and connections we make here on earth are abundant with feelings, emotions and experiences that tie us closely together and we feel each and every one of them when it's time for a separation to occur. So the battle begins in those moments...the questions vs. the knowing that it's as it should be...the human emotions vs. the spiritual truths...the pain vs. the joy...the deep sense of gratitude vs. the deep ravages of grief - the battle that mankind has been struggling to work its way through since the first people walked this earth. It leaves one physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, while, at the same time, incredibly touched in the deepest way.
I look back to those days I was with him and find I still wonder now, as I did then..."What are you reaching for when you lift your hands in the air that way, seeking...something?" "What are you seeing when you move your head that way?" "What does that change in your vocal sounds mean, as if you're trying to call out?" "What are you experiencing?" "What is 'it' like?"
Of course, I have no answers, just speculations and possibilities. But I am left with the belief that this transition of body and spirit is perfect, occurring in an incredible way and at the most perfect moment. I know with a deep intuitive sense, that there is no true separation from those we love who have made their walk to full spirit. And I know that time and space allows us to find a place where the stronghold of loss looses some of its grip and our grief lessens. We can move through our days bathed in comfort and healing. I also believe that those who have walked their walk help us along to this way of healing, sharing their spirit with us still, loving us and giving us this most perfect part of them. A journey of love, life and transition, joined and taken together, continues, with no boundaries of time and space.
I will miss this man who so recently moved on, because he was a good and generous person, but I see him smile...and I know he is well.
