Inspirational Healing

A Simple Gesture

Ruth surprised me the other day with a phone call and I can't stop thinking about it. She's our sweet and endearing 80 something year old neighbor who lives across the street from us.

During these cold Michigan winter months that keep many older folks inside, we don't see her as much as during the summer months when she's sitting on her porch or out working in her garden. But she does love to pull up a little chair and sit by her entryway door on bright sunny days, soaking up the warmth and pleasure of the sun.

I saw her sitting there reading a book as I got in my car to leave the house. I stopped, gave my horn a little beep to grab her attention, then gave a quick wave. She smiled, waved back and I didn't give it another thought as I went along my way.

Her phone call really took me by surprise. She called to say how much that wave meant to her - to think that I took the time to stop my car and pay attention to her just made her day. I was amazed! I was just being friendly to someone I consider a friend. Not a big deal, right? But evidently I was wrong. She told me that my wave brightened her mood every time she thought of it and she had to tell me how it meant so much to her. Her call to me was a week later! It was still in her heart even after all that time. Amazing.

It really got me thinking about the powerful impact that a simple gesture can make. It's not just the big things that help to make the world a happier place, it's the simple acts of thoughtfulness and kindness of everyday life that impact and create change. Certainly that's something we can all do and little by happy little, create a major impact.

Ruth gave me a gift with her phone call. Bless her heart for telling me because now I know and can tell you also. All those little things that we may never think of again can and do mean a lot. We may never know just how far a smile, a wave, a please and thank you, a prayer, a kind word or helping hand may travel in the hearts and spirits of those we meet every day. A week later, it may still be going strong, bringing simple joy right along with it. Amazing.

Closing the Store...

My daughter Lynne, a practicing psychologist in CA, recently took a leap of faith and left her job with no other job waiting for her or even prospects lined up. She was working in a hospital ER department and felt sapped of energy, inspiration and fulfillment. Slowly, piece by piece, she was being stripped of what makes her happy.

Remember the movie, You've Got Mail? A small, independent bookstore owner was being forced out of business by a big name conglomerate that moved into the neighborhood. She tried to keep her store open as long as possible, but finally made the decision to close it. Her friend told her, much as she wasn't ready to believe it at the time, that, "Closing the store is the brave thing to do. You are daring to imagine that you could have a different life."

That's a pretty powerful statement. How many times do we get stuck in the familiar, fighting to keep it the way it is, even when it doesn't fulfill us? Even when it continually drags us under and makes us want to stay in with the covers thrown over our heads? Fear is one of the most powerful emotions there is and it can blindside, distract and hold us down if we let it. It's full of "buts", "what-ifs", and "I cant's". It's pretty paralyzing.

But life has a way of letting us know when it's time to let something go, try something new or step out into the unknown, even when we don't know where it will take us. The trick is for us to pay attention to how we're feeling about the present situation. If we feel yucky, tired, scared, depressed - you get the picture - then it's time to see ourselves in a new light. Hmmm.....what if? Is it possible? Is there even the slightest chance? What if this dream of mine can come true? Just IMAGINE. That's where bravery comes into the picture.

I think courage, or rather the lack of, is really where we get tripped up. Change isn't always easy so we stay close to what we know, even if it's uncomfortable. In a bizarre way, there's a comfort in being uncomfortable. But if we can just for a moment, step away and imagine being truly happy, content and fulfilled, we find the strength and will within to move in a different direction. Especially when we're moving because it resonates to our heart, and not just a logistical, makes sense kind of thing, we step off the cliff, trusting that we'll be caught by something wonderful.

"Closing the store" means different things for each one of us, but if we're honest with ourselves in acknowledging our true feelings, I believe we will be able to imagine something new and find within ourselves every bit of courage we need to step into the wonderful.

Since Lynne made her decision to step away from what was unhappy for her and into that 'other' place that was as yet unknown to her, a series of open doors and exciting new possibilities has occurred, and in a very short time. She leaves soon to explore an exciting opportunity working in a boarding school with teenagers in a foreign country. She'll be able to practice her field in a creative, non-traditional way, both at the school and in the wilderness adventure activities that's part of the curriculum - all of which will satisfy the dream that she's carried in her heart.

I know that Lynne's been caught by protective and loving arms when she 'Closed her store', so I'll keep you posted on her new life adventure.

A Hummingbird Tale

It seems like overnight we've gone from hot and humid summer weather to the 20-25 degrees cooler weather of fall. Mother Nature has shown her fickle side lately and while the cooler weather is welcomed, I'm not sure we're quite ready for this change of season.The summer flowers however, are struggling and the leaves are beginning to show a little bit of color, so, ready or not, a new season is upon us.

One thing I've noticed among the seasonal changes is that the flow of hummingbirds to our feeder has picked up. They tend to stay around here for a few more weeks, but it seems as if they've begun preparations for an exodus soon. It's been fun having them here year after year and they've been a source of fun and joy to us, getting to know them and watching their antics. I've always considered them a sign of the delicate side of nature, but, at the same time, I've also witnessed their harsher side, too.

They are quite territorial and really don't like to share. There must be a secret code among them that only one bird at a time is allowed at the feeder. The problem is that each one seems to believe that it has propriety rights and that the feeder is there for its pleasure alone. We've often seen one bird swoop in and chase another away. We've seen in-flight battles taking place, fighting for the personal and private right to the sweet nectar held in the feeder vials. One day while working in the garden, I even saw and heard one dramatically and forcefully ram itself into another hummingbird to get its point across - this is mine and you can't have it!

But here's the rub and it keeps coming back to me - there's an endless supply of nectar available for them to enjoy, both in the flowers of my garden and the feeder itself. Now I know they cannot intellectually process this fact and they don't have the ability of rational thinking, but I wonder if this isn't another lesson gifted to us by the world of nature. Are we, all of mankind, like these birds, fighting for our space, our right to have whatever we want or believe is ours alone, using bullying and aggression all the while not seeing that there is abundance enough for all of us? There is an inherent gentle side of our own human nature, a gift from our Creator, but it tends to get overlooked and swept aside when we believe our own is threatened or that we have to get our share before someone else gets to it first.

Yes, there is 'survival of the fittest' in the animal kingdom which influences their behavior and much of what they do is done from instinct and self-preservation, but if we step back and take a closer look, we'll see that nothing has been permanently gained from the endless fight. Sooner or later, change occurs and life moves on. A study of history shows this is true as it applies to mankind as well. We can be aggressive, angry and annoyingly self-righteous and battle even to the death in our own never ending struggle with our adversaries. What a pointless endeavor this seems to be. The hummingbird of the moment has gained only a very temporary win, but he never wins totally. His counterpart will return to the feeder; he just has to wait his turn.

I think this presents a very valuable lesson. There's no point to all the fighting among us, not on any personal or worldwide level because it's guaranteed that change will occur. When we recognize this and act from our inherent gentle and compassionate nature, the world itself will be changed. Only when we accept and honor each other, will everyone's needs and wants be met without fear of personal loss or infringement of boundaries. We will have moved past the idea of 'survival of the fittest', a battle we, as a worldwide people, cannot win.

We each have something the hummingbirds don't have - a spirit of giving and a soul of loving. It would be great if we would see each other with these two divine gifts. The hummingbirds can't see this way and so they fight. But we don't have to. We can see things differently. If only we would, our world would live in peace.

"There's a place in God's heart that only you can fill."

   Author Unknown

Open Hearts

When the heart is open, it speaks a language all its own. This video speaks for itself. Enjoy! :)

Back Again

It wasn't my intention for so much time to pass since my last entry, but it seems that this is exactly what's happened. I believe when I write that I am inspired by a guiding hand and I just haven't felt the inclination to make it to the computer to begin a post. I try to listen to and honor my intuition so I held off writing, knowing that something else was taking place in its stead. I'm back today tho', again trusting that it's time to write down some thoughts.

It's been a happy time with the change in season. I marvel at the warmer weather, longer and sunnier days and the kaleidoscope of colors that comes with the spring and summer months. It's so easy to forget the blasts of winter snow and cold once these current days take hold. Just being able to throw open the doors and windows allowing fresh air and the scents of blooming trees and bushes to enter the house is one of my favorite things.

The doves returned to their nesting spot in the tree that literally sits two feet from our back window. This up-close-and-personal view allows us the perfect opportunity to watch the courting and nesting process and the birthing and raising of the latest youngsters to join the flock. Since both the male and the female are a continuous part of the entire 4-6 week journey they take in this dance of new life, I'm reminded once again of the importance of both the male and female aspects that reside in each one of us and the need to honor, balance and care for each of them.

The hummingbirds have also returned to the feeder that sits just outside our other back window. The strength and power of these little birds and the need for constant sweet nectar to supply the enormous amount of energy they expel, reminds me not to neglect those things that give me pleasure and to savor the sweetness of life. They are a symbol of great joy and no matter how many times they come to my window each day, they make me smile. Again, a reminder to treasure even the simplest of moments, finding happiness in every one of them.

Planting a variety of flowers in bright happy colors in pots and landscape tracts (I call it "playing in the dirt") gives me an enormous amount of satisfaction and pleasure and, since the garden season is short in Michigan, I like to get them going as soon as I can. To look out any door or window and see a bounty of blooming color lifts my spirits each and every time. The energy, work and time of planting and potting doesn't mean a thing in the overall picture of what I receive back from the view everyday. I hold my hands over them and set my intentions that they prosper, bloom and make those who see them smile within...a reminder that Nature's wonders are for the delight of all of us.

One day while planting flowers, I was joined by a huge bumble bee, a butterfly, a dragonfly and a hummingbird all at the same time. It didn't last but a moment, but what a moment it was! I believe that Nature speaks to us and each big or little critter holds its own meaning and message. The dragonfly, with its luminosity and airiness, is a symbol of light and moving with ease through the air. The butterfly is a symbol of changing form, new life and beauty. The bumble bee makes sweet honey and, along with the hummingbird, represents the sweetness of life. My message in that moment was clear - release the burdens that bog me down and move into the light and air with ease, stay in the joy and the sweetness of every moment, savoring the good that each gives, and allow the newness of life to come with all the beauty it will bring. Add to that the flowers themselves, symbols of beauty and unfolding and cycles of life and that of the dirt, the very essence of where life takes hold as a tiny seed only to yield magnificent bounty and the message was compounded a thousand-fold. All in the space of a moment! Again a reminder to stay in the present so the universe can be noted and heard.

We miss so much in our days of work and obligation, running here and there, doing ten different things at the same time, but there's so much more. There's something deeper, richer and more vibrant that we can tap into if we allow ourselves to notice. It's the 'real' world and touches the truest part of us and the reason why we are here - to enrich our hearts and each other's with the best parts of life. Once we see the little things and note and follow their meaning, then a natural progression to bigger, brighter and more satisfying things can occur. There is immense importance in every second - the tiniest thing in one moment of time can be the springboard for the biggest event of life to occur.

The season of change can be at any time, not just that dictated by the calendar and changes in the weather. The season of true change occurs in the heart and spirit. Paying attention to nature is a start - noting that a bird can be more than just a bird and an insect more than just an insect. Ponder the message that may be in that moment, look beyond the obvious, the concrete and logical aspects and ask yourself, "What's really happening here?" Once you begin to notice, take some time - the answer is in your heart. Listen to what it's saying. You may be led to the best 'change of season' that you've ever experienced.

Passing On

One can't help but be profoundly touched in watching the process of the core spirit leave the body. I was with my sister at Hospice this past month as her beloved was experiencing the last stages of cancer and making his transition from this earthly realm to that of the next. My sister and I were also together in this same dance when her first husband made his journey from the result of cancer many years ago. It leaves us with many questions and seeking answers. There are many feelings to work through for resolve and placement and I pray I will find understanding of my purpose in sharing these times of life and passing.

There are stages that a person goes through in slowly releasing his spirit from his body, but anyone sharing this time also runs through a whole series of emotions. I can only imagine what my sister was feeling and experiencing in losing these men who shared her life and love. Her words were tender and soothing; her actions those of extreme caring and her pain deep and immense. But as she watched him move into acceptance and peace, she too made this journey along with him. They laughed and cried and prayed together, sharing their love in every way possible until the very last breath and heartbeat.

From my perspective as a 'support' person to both my sister and others who were present, as well as one who loved both of these men,  I was aware of how truly heartbreaking and sad this process was while at the same time, so truly beautiful...love demonstrated over and over again...family members sharing stories and laughing together...friends coming to say good-bye...last minute wishes being stated...tears and hugs shared...comfort given and received...and grief hitting hard and fast.

It is my deepest belief that our physical life is just an interruption from that of our true life on a much higher realm and it's that 'place' that is our true home. But the relationships and connections we make here on earth are abundant with feelings, emotions and experiences that tie us closely together and we feel each and every one of them when it's time for a separation to occur. So the battle begins in those moments...the questions vs. the knowing that it's as it should be...the human emotions vs. the spiritual truths...the pain vs. the joy...the deep sense of gratitude vs. the deep ravages of grief - the battle that mankind has been struggling to work its way through since the first people walked this earth. It  leaves one physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, while, at the same time, incredibly touched in the deepest way.

I look back to those days I was with him and find I still wonder now, as I did then..."What are you reaching for when you lift your hands in the air that way, seeking...something?" "What are you seeing when you move your head that way?" "What does that change in your vocal sounds mean, as if you're trying to call out?" "What are you experiencing?" "What is 'it' like?"

Of course, I have no answers, just speculations and possibilities. But I am left with the belief that this transition of body and spirit is perfect, occurring in an incredible way and at the most perfect moment. I know with a deep intuitive sense, that there is no true separation from those we love who have made their walk to full spirit. And I know that time and space allows us to find a place where the stronghold of loss looses some of its grip and our grief lessens. We can move through our days bathed in comfort and healing.  I also believe that those who have walked their walk help us along to this way of healing, sharing their spirit with us still, loving us and giving us this most perfect part of them. A journey of love, life and transition, joined and taken together, continues, with no boundaries of time and space.  

I will miss this man who so recently moved on, because he was a good and generous person, but I see him smile...and I know he is well.

Hearts of the Children

I love the openness of little children. They see with purity and wide-eyed innocence, unfettered by the cloudiness that so often accompanies adult vision. This truth was shown to me once again when I asked the classmates of my two granddaughters to help me with a project idea I had.

There is a program though the website of Soldiers' Angels that is designed to collect handmade blankets and donate them to soldiers who have been injured while serving in the military. I thought it would be fun to have children be a part of making a couple blankets, so I asked my granddaughters what they thought of the idea. Morgan, a first grader, and Brooke, a second grader, quickly agreed that it would be a fun project. Their teachers agreed also, feeling the project would be a good way to carry through the idea of giving and community service that is part of the overall school ideology. So...we were off and running!

The concept of the blankets and what they represented was explained to them and, as only little children do best, they immediately opened their hearts to caring and compassion. Their desire was so simple - to make a blanket  "to make a soldier feel better". They expressed many times that it would be sad to be far from home and hurt and missing their families. They just wanted them to "feel better" - such an innocent intention unencumbered with all the 'stuff' that adults attach to it.

Each child was given a small square of fabric along with fabric markers and asked to draw a picture of whatever they wanted to say to the lucky soldier who would receive their blanket. Each design was original and a true expression of each heart. There were rainbows, hearts, tanks and helicopters. There were happy faces, flowers, flags and pictures of boys and girls. There were sentiments of "You're the best soldier ever" and "Get well soon". There were expressions of "Thanks" and "Come home soon"...and they were all adorable and precious! The squares were then sewn onto larger pieces of fabric with the end result of two beautiful expressions of their hearts, given to someone they would never meet.

But it didn't stop there. To share the gifts they made, they were asked to show the blankets at their all-school assembly in front of all the students and teachers. The project was explained to the assembly and each blanket was carried on stage by a couple of class representatives and unfolded in all their glory. I was invited to attend and it was very gratifying to see the pride and happiness expressed in the smiles of those little faces.

These children are not only the future of our country, but that of our world. Each one of them carries within them giving hearts and generous spirits. If we adults continue to feed and nurture these traits and care for these children, and all little children of the world, then we won't have anything to be concerned about - the world will be in good hands.

Click on the picture for a close-up view. (Being the proud Gamma...Brooke is on the left, front row, wearing a red shirt, brown pants and boots; Morgan in holding the blanket on the right, wearing a light blue shirt.)

Stop The Enemy

You couldn't miss her if you were anywhere near the check-out lane. She was demanding, critical and rude to both her husband and the cashier while her groceries were being rung up and packed. I felt bad for the cashier who was trying to do her job and for the husband who was just trying to help. Unfortunately for them, it seemed nothing they did was "right" and she repeatedly questioned, "why are you so stupid?" Her abusive tirade didn't lessen until they were headed out the door.

But the incident didn't end when they walked out of the store. The cashier continued to repeat the whole story to me (her next customer), the customer waiting behind me and to two co-workers who happened to wander past her lane. Forgetting that she really shouldn't be speaking of it to other customers or even to co-workers while we were still in line, she proceeded to relay over and over all the graphic details and exact words spoken. She was hurt and upset and couldn't seem to get past what had happened. We all made some soothing comments and tried to direct her attention away from the unpleasantness, but she wouldn't give up. It seemed that she was determined to suffer through it again and again.

Driving home that day I wondered - why do we do that??? Why do we purposely make ourselves feel bad? What is it that makes us replay again and again those things that upset or hurt us? We say the words over and over. We live the actions over and over. We feel the feelings over and over - and we feel lousy. Kind of a dumb thing to do, but, hey, there we are.

I guess there are a number of possible reasons why we torture ourselves this way. If we're wise, it would be to gain awareness, seek advice or find resolution; but too often it's for attention, to play the martyr role or elicit sympathy. It may even be to assure ourselves and others that we were wronged in some way. 

I guess it takes a realization that, at this point, we're our own worst enemy. I know the cashier became madder and more upset with each telling. Her voice grew louder and her movements became more forceful (I grabbed the eggs before they were slammed into a bag!). Yes, we need to vent sometimes, or process the "he said", "she did" thing, or to try to make sense of it. But to re-hash it with no benefit of insight, resolve or resolution is just plain crazy. And here's the clincher - as the cashier was elevating her blood pressure, heightening her emotional state and damaging her psyche, the obnoxious customer was long gone!! You can bet she wasn't even thinking of that cashier once she left the store. She was moving on to something else. But the cashier was still giving her all the negative power generated from the incident, and not only continuing to give it to her, but trying to include others in it as well. Crazy, huh?

So, what do we do when we're face-to-face with those things that set us off? Is it possible to step outside the person, the conversation, the incident, the whatever, and see what's really going on? Why did it happen? What's below the surface? Can we find a way to look at it objectively and find our part and the 'other' part? I believe we can. It might not happen in the emotion of the moment, but it can happen. The trick is to stop ourselves when we get carried away. When we find ourselves going over each and every detail again and again and compounding it by pulling others into the story, then we have to stop. We have to stop ourselves from being our own enemy.

This is when it becomes harmful and destructive. When we can't get past something, we cause widespread damage. As evidenced in this incident, damage was indeed done. But I wonder - who caused the greater damage, the customer or the cashier? It may have started with the behavior of the customer but it continued its ugly spread by the cashier. And who was injured the most? The cashier...and most of it by her own hand.

It's not always easy to see clearly or to let go, but if we at least try to step back and take a clear look we might often find that things are not what they always appear to be. I have a feeling that if the cashier had done this, she would have seen that the anger of the woman really had nothing to do with the groceries and the way they were handled and packed - it was about her, her own "stuff" that she carried inside.

The world itself would operate better and more peacefully if we succeeded with this approach. Certainly, our own personal lives would be easier if we learned to curb our reaction to those things that pushed our emotional buttons. Maybe awareness, conscious thought and practice is all that's necessary to learn to step back and then, proceed with caution. Seems like good preventive measures to stop the enemy within, long before the damage is done.

Christmas Wishes

I really do like Christmas songs and have my favorites among the hundreds that are played every holiday season. There is one that I particularly like because it conveys all the thoughts that many of us carry in our hearts and wish for others. It's sung by Reba McEntire and is entitled, This Is My Prayer For You.

I can't play the music here, but imagine a melody that is light, twinkling and upbeat. The lyrics are true and easy.

"Peaceful valleys, mountain tops, no dark alleys or sudden stops, this is my prayer, this is my prayer for you.

Lovers calling, starry skies, always falling, but not for lies, this is my prayer, this is my prayer for you.

May all your sweet dreams go unbroken, may every wish you've ever spoken come true; this is my prayer...

Celebrations, true blue friends, revelations and a heart that mends, this is...

Arms that welcome, doors that open wide, all your loved ones gathered by your side, this is....

May all your days be filled with laughter, may all your prayers be quickly answered.

This is my prayer, this is my prayer for you."

I share these same sentiments and wish them from my heart to yours. Have a wonder-filled, fun, blessed and merry holiday season with all those you love.